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It's only semi autobiographical
  • My Profile

    • Sunday, September 14, 2003

    Oh, and I haven't been updating my love life over the past few weeks, mainly because I have been spending most of that time wondering how I could let my girl down gently, and leave her. Obviously I was not going to put those thoughts on here, where anyone could read them and pass them on to aforementioned girl. The matter was also complicated by situations beyond our control, which, suffice to say, made things difficult.

    So I've been distant, and she's said things along the lines of "Why are you acting differently?" "You're not yourself." And the like. I've made little to no effort to keep her reassured, and so eventualy, she asked to talk to me.

    It was a phone call thing. She said she didn't know if it was worth keeping it going, what with me going away and the situation. Well, she started, I finished her sentence. Unfortunately, I am a very practical man, my relationships have left me with no illusions as to what is going to happen next, and this often means that in seeking the fastest and easiest route out, I seem cold and heartless. Since I know this, I tried my best to find out what she wanted, but twice I got frustrated with her not telling me, and simply said what I thought was the most practical way of doing things.

    Basicaly, the end result is that we are still together, but we are meeting in person tomorow to talk about it. There is only one way that it's going to go I'm afraid. I gave her the option tonight,

    "Either we split here and now, and I come to you tomorow to explain whats been running through my head, what went wrong, just for your sake, or we are together, and we meet tomorow to talk about whats happened to both of us, for the sake of us."

    She went for the second option, after I rephrased part of it in a rather more direct manner. So thats what's happening, but in reality, it will end tomorow, I just didn't want it to be over the telephone, because that's how I left her last time. There is so much I want to say to her, but I know some of it would only come across as cruel.

    More as it comes.

    Now I'm tired, I'm going to bed.
    Posted by: Anonymous / 9:38 pm
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