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It's only semi autobiographical
Wednesday, November 26, 2003
Imagine this scenario, a group of enthusiastic, America dwelling, door to door salesmen try to recruit myself and a group of around 8 other students. In my opinion, they are being patronizing. I am sitting right at the front.
If you know me well, you can hazard a guess as to what is coming next.
If you do not know me so well, read the rest of the bloody Blog.
If you still just can not see what I am getting at, lets put it this way, last time I was in a similar situation, I started a communist revolution, and attempted to wrest control of the college*.
Anyway, we were all told to get a piece of paper and take notes, you know the stuff, names, places, reasons to take up the job offer. There were 'interesting' little facts thrown in, questions asked, to which we had to write down the answer before we were told. You all know the stuff I am sure.
Hey, you must know it, you are reading this, that makes you sophisticated, witty, sharp and attractive right? I know my readers.
Of course, no one wants to speak up at first, so I was jumping in with answers, and being unnecessarily enthusiastic.
You could see the man thinking "Here's an ally"
Up until he asked me, in a rather patronizing manner, if I had any kind of management or people skills, or any 'real' experience. My answer was practically a speech.
Quite a bit of gibberish you understand, but with enough real content to back up most of it. Hey, if they want to use management buzz words and the like on me, I can return fire in kind, right?
From that point on I started being a little difficult.
Eventually though, I had drifted far enough into his good books again that he directed another question to me, after a presentation by one of his colleagues.
My response was;
"It was very, very, unbelievably so, very... Well... American."
Which I then said was, of course, a good thing, since it was aimed at the American target audience. He knew what I really meant, and I definitely heard someone behind me say the word "Cheesy"
Later he asked us to write answer, yes or no, to two questions.
1. Do you think you have the skills and personality to do well and succeed with our company?
I smiled, wrote yes, looked up. He smiled.
2. After hearing this presentation, would you like to learn more about our organization, and apply for this position?
I smiled, I put pen to paper, looked thoughtful, smiled. He smiled. I wrote NO. He frowned, for only a moment before his face took on that plastic cheeriness of American public service and he said, rather too nicely and cheerily;
"Thanks for coming Richard."and wasting our time"If you could go now."there's the door.
The subtext, (inserted in italics by myself) was clearly there and I left, after retrieving my fencing equipment and bag.
Does it make me a bad person if I admit that I derived enjoyment from this?
Now I'm tired, and I'm going to bed.
*It failed by the way. We took over a small job centre before I was put under citizens arrest and detained in the mock 'Jail.' I began to write a book, planning to call it "My Struggle" but I was broken out in minutes rather than months. I then survived by stealing A level certificates and selling them on at a profit. It was an interesting day.
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