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It's only semi autobiographical
Friday, August 26, 2005
A pet hatred of mine, as I am a strong believer in free flow of information.
Which is why today, when someone approached me, and attempted to prevent me writing on certain subjects, I was furious. The fact it was said in an intimidating tone only made matters worse.
A lot of people, who do not know me well, are under the impression that I am a nice person, a person who will not stand up for himself, a pushover.
These people often like to see how far they can go, how much they can take advantage of another human being. Normally, they have some leeway, because I feel it is more hassle to deal with them than I can be bothered to put up with.
Sometimes they go too far.
Sometimes they try to stand between me and my friends, sometimes they try to steal. Sometimes they try to stop me expressing my opinions. Sometimes they make threats.
I have three words with respect to that.
HOW DARE YOU!
You see, I am not always nice. You can ask the people closest to me if you really want to know what I can be like. In my view, anyone who thinks they can take advantage of someone weaker than themselves deserves whatever they get. Sometimes, when they get it, they do not like it. Sometimes, other people do not like it.
Now I did not want to cause a scene. So what I am going to do is this. Tonight, I will go back to the bar, with a piece of paper. On that paper will be this website address. I will hand this piece of paper to someone I think needs to hear what I am about to say.
This is my place. I will write whatever I want, whenever I want. Legally, I am allowed to express myself here. I neither lie, nor deliberately cause offence. If you do not like it, go elsewhere. This is my space, where I write for my friends.
Threats will not work, harassment will not work. The only thing that will change the way I do things here, is if any one person comes to me, and tells me that something that I have done has made them upset, and they would like it removed. It should be noted, I do not respond well to rudeness.
Oh, and one more thing, do not mistake a long fuse for fear or weakness.
I would rather be punched in the face than abandon principle
We went to Scandals, and had a great time, we met a Morannne, or Morag, or something, who was 62, and ammusing. They played Mr Brightside, so we were very happy by the end, and I had a subway. It was a good night.
James Barnes took us home, thus re-qualifying himself as a legend. We had previously ran into him in Route 66, where my moshing had alienated me from my other compatriots.
I should state, I made Scandals run out of Brandy, Corvoisier to be precise. I am very proud of this, and as a result, very drunk.
I therefore bid you goodnight.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Most of you... probably "Who?" but never mind.
HAve to go to work now, I am sure I will think of something ammusing later.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Saturday, August 20, 2005
"Richard is very drunk. This is why at least two words of the above do not make any sense. Also, his singing leaves much to be desired. We have had a multitude of singalongs this evening and both concepts of being in tune and in time, or a combination of the two seem to have escaped him. He has also spilt about a litre of southern comfort and lemonade on his living room carpet whilst drinking out of a vase. I tell you this, so now he has no right to mock others for silly drunken mistakes. That is all."
Andy speaks correctly. there have been some excelent singalongs tonight, which have involved some quite simply brilliant lead singers over the course of some mediocre singing (mostly by me) I may well publish the videos later.
For now, I will sign off, hoping that when I sober up I wioll remember enough to make this worth reading.If not, I am sure someone from the current populace will remind me...
Spelling will be corrected ltaer.
Music is my SOUL!
Thursday, August 18, 2005
However, this was not just any meal... This was a pasta bake.
Now I do not like to boast, but I make an awesome pasta bake. It inspires awe. Not many people get to sample it however, as when I make one, I tend to eat pasta bake for breakfast lunch and tea I am in fact eating it as I type.
It is a meal to make gods jealous. Literally. I know some of them can not stand to have something worshipped more than they are, a certain Judeo-Christian one especially.
It is one of those exceptions to the normal rule. In this case, the rule is that I can follow instructions with respect to cooking fine, thus I am pretty good at cakes, rice pudding etc, where I have an exact recipe in front of me. It is the vague bits that always get me.
"A pinch of salt" or "salt to taste" will often result in a ruined dish, as will "sprinkle some cheese" this being because I like salt and cheese, and am rather too liberal with both.
As for anything like "a handful" do not even go there.
Left work early today, due to not feeling so good, stomach ache. Am hoping desperately to recover by tomorrow, since I hope to drink a certain quantity of alcohol then...
Mmm, whiskey time...
I spend much of the night-time hours playing computer games, specifically, one computer game.
World of Warcraft. It is the first and only I have played, and since I am not paying, I play as much as I can.
Currently I control a Level 50 Warlock known as Detestai, who rides a fiery Fellsteed, and can call Demons from the other realms to aid in battles against the filthy Human Alliance.
The spells at my command include debilitating curses, control over demons I encounter on my journeys, powerful black magic projectiles and the ability to steal both health, and the very souls of my opponents.
This last power is as necessary as it is evil, as the shards containing enemy souls are used for the most powerful of magics, including summoning the more dangerous demons, and burning people from the inside out.
Most proficient with a stave, Detestai currently wields a sword and an orb of power, making her only slightly less dangerous in close combat, but much stronger in the ways of magic and control.
Currently, the majority of combat against the actuall Alliance takes place in Warsong Gulch, where the battle rages over the Orc's forresting operation, which has begun to encroach on Nightelf soil.
Soon though, Detestai will be well enough proven as a warrior that she can take the offensive in Alterac Valley, where only the best of the best fight to turn the tide of an entire battle, with hundreds on each side, battling for supremacy.
Then I go to the pub.
Sometimes I eat too.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
"Gentleman (allegedly) of leisure"
Does the allegedly modify the leisure or the gentleman?
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Pretty dull day at work today, worked alone for as long as I did with company. I did, however, stay for a few drinks afterwards. It was going to be just the one, but people just kept buying me drinks, despite me being on the other side of the bar, so again, it would be rude not to.
Had a couple of good conversations tonight, with acquaintances old and new. I am completely happy with tonight's turnout, despite the mind numbing boredom of the previous hours.
Ah, and while I remember, yesterday, and the day before, that weird guy who offered me a job was in again.
He was first in about a week ago I think. He said he would buy me a drink if I could correctly name three glasses. I named two, so I got my pint of 6X, mmm. But he said he could train me as a landlord if I wanted it, but I turned it down, despite his promise of 50K a year. To be fair, I could happily get that in my planned career, if only in 5 years time. The thing is though, whilst 50K is great as a 20 year old, I am thinking down the line I want to be earning a little more than that, and as a publican, I am not sure I could.
Anyway, he offered the same to Lou a few nights back, and I am sure by now he has gone round the entire staff. Apparently he used to run the Plough in the past. Meh.
So anyway...
Now I'm tired, and I'm going to talk to someone...
Northern, Welsh... bloody foreigners...
There was downing of pints, racism, abuse of fat and ugly people... Almost as good as a fencing social. It is just a pity no one got piss in their beer.
Worked with Jenny, who seems to be a pretty cool person. Certainly the most chatty and amusing person I have worked with to date, however I am due to work on Wednesday night for the first time, so who knows, that may change.
Only one minor annoyance tonight, but I got over that, and have planned a solution for next time it happens.
It was, in general, a good night.
Until the walk home.
Some drunk was hassling me, which I did not take kindly to. Now most of you will know that in general I am pretty easy going. I will accept people being nasty, or laughing at my expense, or even sometimes a bit of shoving around. I tend to ignore it, comfortable that I have the high ground, and doing the right thing.
However. As hopefully fewer people will know, I also very occasionally have a very short fuse. Especially in cases where people abuse my friends, or actually try to hurt me. The most memorable of these moments was during Notting Hill, when a certain someone made a comment about my girlfriend at the time. That was not pleasent. (This was some time ago, so no guessing who I was with.) Another incident involved being locked out of my house, but thankfully this was forestalled by my friends who were present at the time.
::Some text missing::
In other news, I said something which is probably not often said last night. As I laid down to bed, I suddenly sat up and said;
"Shit, I can still see."
Why? I will leave that to you to figure out.
Tomorrow, my ponderings on why people get offended by the strangest things.
Now, I am in fact tired. So I'm going to bed.
Note to police, note sub-heading.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
I often post late at night, hence my oft-used sign off, "Now I'm tired, and I'm going to bed." Which I not I have not used lately...
Anyway, this means that when I say "today" refering to the day I have just had, I usually mean yesterday. This is obviously due to the fact that when I post after midnight, I have not yet slept, and consider myself to still be in the previous day. So anyway, after I did go to bed, this morning I guess, I get a phonecall.
Emma, our lovable drunken foilist, was calling to inform me that she was drunk, and had stolen a hat, and a drumstick. She then appeared to be beating herself to death with said stick on the road. This obviously meant much hilarity ensued... I am not sure we talked about much else...
In other news, check out the "Penny Arcade" link to the right, it's been there a little while now, but I have not talked about it. I am slowly becoming quite enthralled with the site, especially the World of Warcraft comics! It has some quite fantastic humour, and I would highly recomend checking out the archives. It has come to the stage where it is equal tops with Sluggy Freelance and Something Positive in my favourites list... And rising.
Two odd mathematical things happened today. (how many people will skip this paragraph now?) Firstly, someone asked for a drink with "negative ice." Now I did not press the point, but I was informed that it was a naval term. At first, I thought this would be difficult, since I could not actually remove ice from a drink with none in it. Then it occurred to me that in mathematical proof, in similar situations, you look at what is possible for negative, positive, and zero values. Obviously, negative would be impossible, positive a contradiction. So zero ice was the only conclusion to come to. More accurately, it should have been "non-positive ice" but I decided that I would instead choose a negative amount of ice so small that it tended toward zero, and I put that in the drink.
The other odd thing (gotcha, you people who tried to skip that paragraph) was that I got a text message asking about the nature of infinity. Or more accurately, if I could "prove it with an equation." I explained what infinity was, and told them to use phrases like "Archimedes' postulate" to sound clever.
Oh yeah, it was Rebecca who did the texting by the way. (See, I use the least excuse to put you on here...)
So yeah, in other news I have been messing about with the aforementioned staff recently, and in one interesting turn of events got a smack in the chest with it... I was fighting my brother, he had a staff, I had a rod of bamboo. The idea was, he could do what he wanted, but had to stop if I touched him with the bamboo, that is, I had to prevent him from hitting me by hitting him lightly first.
This worked well for a while untill both strikes came at the same time, and while I held the moral high ground of winning, I also gathered a bruise in the process.
Right, I should go to bed now.
Log on to MSN for the gods' sakes, filth and poison.
Friday, August 12, 2005
It is a hardwood staff, which I am using to practice both my fire staff technique, and my general beating the hell out of things technique.
Interestingly, despite being a swordsman (by training at least) I am beginning to appreciate the stave as a weapon of choice. It does not have the deadly edge of a sword, and so strikes have to be clean and careful. With a sword, a wild thrust or swing can get lucky, and even in a non lethal area, can afflict an opponent with serious injuries. However, the extra range a staff provides, combined with the fact that if an opponent is swinging wildly, they can easily be blocked, means that the staff can still be potent.
Contrary to popular belief, swords in general need quite a degree of force to do damage, and I actually do not know how to do this effectively. Presented with a sword and asked to fight for my life, I would have to rely on thrusts, and keeping an opponent at a safe distance until I found an opening to stab through. I do not think any of the slashing attacks I have learned could be performed with enough speed and force to cut, without being so obvious that they were easily stopped.
With a staff however, I find that by keeping it in motion, or tension, or even compression, either end can be swiftly spun round to a target, and when you also factor in the fact that nobody wants to be poked in the face with a long bit of wood, then it starts to seem dangerous. By aiming for the head, knees, ands and groin, your blows only need be enough to disarm or drop your opponent, and suddenly, it does not matter whether your weapon is sharp or not...
Anyway...
A rather slow day at the pub today. At times I was the only person in the room. Well at least the ash trays were the cleanest that they have ever been.
On the Russian front, still chilly. A cold front, if not a war.
One particularly red faction has re-opened communications, but so far, no negotiations have taken place. The other still has an information blockade in place.
And to think, I have not even written about the straw that broke the spine of the dromedary yet.
Damn, I choose weird analogies.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Upon returning home, I went to work. A surprisingly pleasant experience. Two hours in which everyone was nice, no one was rude, and I did not have to put up with a pseudo-northern accent.
I got a most humorous three-word text message of my life a few days ago, and replied, after mocking the wording, with my own three word response. After a slightly bemusing reply, ("stand by" well, I think I will stand by, thankyou for your permission...) I decided to use my most cunning wit, my most scathing humour to craft a reply, it would need to be clever, damaging infuriating, and have the cut worthy of Oscar Wilde. All that came to mind, however, was "Yer mum" which, while insulting, was not what I was after. In any case, for the next two days, I was out of phone signal, so I was unable to respond.
Surprisingly, two people appear to have read my Blog, and have assumed that what I have written was about them. Since I did not mention names, I can only guess they saw some of themselves in my posts, and assumed it must be them. I must be getting famous.
Doubtless, they will have stopped reading this by now. I mean, what kind of right minded person would keep reading something that offended them?
Anyway, these two have apparently stopped talking to me, which I guess suits me perfectly. Assuming that they have surmised correctly, I had vowed never to talk to one of them again while he was drunk, and the other never when I was not being paid to be sociable.
Now these two have come up with an ever-so-cunning plan to prevent me from talking about them here. They have decided to snub me, and not talk to me, presumably ever again.
How mature.
Some people would say that this is, in fact, the height of rudeness and ignorance. The inability to use reason to resolve arguments, and resorting to the lowest common denominator of retaliation. I, of course, would never say these things.
I would also like to point out the clearly marked comments section of the site, specifically designed for people to discuss and argue over what I have written. This can be used in two ways really. People can join in with the rest of the net dross, and post random, poorly spelled, punctuated and grammatically inaccurate posts. Alternatively, and more in fitting with my arguments, they could attempt to correct me by reasoned argument, and sensible points.
Like that is ever going to happen...
To be fair, blatantly. It would be rude not to!
Saturday, August 06, 2005
"Bloody pheasants!" : Nix, upon finding bird mess on top of her car.
Friday, August 05, 2005
So, anyway, it is the end of the night, I am slightly irritated with the pair, and have told them I need to get home early. However, I agree to "go a-paddling" on the basis that they would probably get cold within a minute or two and then share a taxi home.
This is when most of the name calling and general irritation began...
After all this, they end up in the sea. 30 minutes later, still in there, I tell them I need to get home, and my phone has died. I ask to borrow a phone, I ask for a taxi number... No.
Eventually I have to wander down the beach, fins a number from an i+ booth, remember it, and use a pay phone for a taxi. I convince the driver to let me pay £15 for the trip, and end up walking back from where he dropped me in my hometown.
I was not a happy bunny.
In fact, had I been a rabbit, I would have been... annoyed. (I could not do the pun, sorry.)
So yeah, the conclusion remains the same.
But little did I expect to be shown so in such a spectacular manner.
Anyway, as to why I was pissed off, I had been persuaded, over some time, to go down Pompey, to "alternative night" at Route 66. I was persuaded by a pair of people, one male and one female, who had been, well 'fawning' is the wrong word, but they were certainly doing something over one another.
This should have flashed red lights instantly, and the advice of several people (before and after the event) was to stand well clear. However, I decided I liked both of them enough, and went along, despite a brief bowling argument.
This, my friends, is when the evening showed signs of strain.
The aforementioned female was ready to be stroppy with me from word go. It started with little asides that I, quite frankly, was not going to put up with, and responded strongly to. The response?
"If I was having a go at you, I would have said your name."
Bollocks. If you complain, loudly, about how much you wish you were bowling instead of being in a bar, in the presence of the person who is "preventing" you going bowling, you are trying to make a point.
The other thing that annoyed me about the evening was that defensiveness. I do not generally engage in banter with people I do not know too well, this often results in me getting a lot of stick. That night though, whenever I responded in kind to a bit of banter, I almost invariably got a response on the lines of "Don't take it so seriously"
News flash... I wasn't. What I did take seriously, was the amount that I got that comment. The other thing that annoyed me, which I thought I had left behind with a certain lady friend back at college, was the resorting to childish name calling, or simple events to win arguments.
No matter how well crafted a response, how accurate an argument I gave in a disagreement, it would always have to be ended with either: "At least I don't fall over trees" "At least I don't chat up guys at bars/take their numbers" or a similar quote.
This I found irritating to say the least. In others words, it sounded childish. Someone very close to me used the word that made me laugh most, which was "insecure." Says it all really.
They also said a few things that I would not find forgivable were they not so drunk and pathetic at the time. I can not write about them here, because they would hurt others, who do not deserve 'an ounce of pain' as the Guns 'n Roses song says.
Another quote, or series thereof, that stuck in my mind, and which I do resent, were variations of "You're so boring."
This, apparently, was based on the fact that I did not want to go bowling with what was to all intents and purposes, a couple. Oh, and I did not want to go "a-paddlin" at the end of the night, on Southsea sea front.
In any case, how dare they? Especially the woman, who knows nothing about me. Frankly, I look at your life, and find it wanting. Would I say that? No, because there is not point antagonising someone I work with for no good reason. But that was then, this is now.
::EDIT:: Ok, now back to the post above ::/EDIT::
In conclusion (because I have to go now.) One of them I can forgive, over the years we have known each other, I would be hard pressed to say who has been the more of a jerk, and over 15-odd years, this is nothing more than a blip.
The other, well, you know what, I forgive them. I've had my say now, and I am not going to mention it again, unless of course, someone else brings it up. What I will not do is socialise with said person, I am no glutton for... psychological punishment.
...Remember when Kit stole my phone? You know me...
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
The incandescence of my rage is becoming immense, and there is every possibility that I might snap soon.
The last time that a general feeling of being pissed off escalated in such a trancendant manner, I made someone cry, and then never socialised with them again.
Right, so long as we have that sorted.
Had a great tiem a couple of nights ago at a place called Scandals on the recomendation of a certain Vikki who I work with. (I have no idea how it is spelled, so I will stick with my favourite "Vikki" spelling.)
Was pretty fun, I made my usual drunken foolishness more than apparent, tripping over a tree, falling into Scandals and (so I am told) chatting up a guy. To be honest, I reckon I was just being friendly, but certain members amongst my friends were homophobic enough that they felt the need to "save me" from talking to someone, so they sent over Ben, to pretend to be my boyfriend. Hmm, someone on the "Crazy stupid gas"?
Anyway, that is not the direct reason for my current attitude, this will be revealed later.
On another note, awwwww, thanks. It is nice to see that some people not only still read this, but think it counts as some form of entertainment. For every comment made, I will make another post the next day, that should give me reason to keep writing.
Stupid people still piss me off.
